‘Two of your recruits are dead, correct?’
‘Yes.’
‘And two of the others will be in the infirmary for at least a few days?’
‘Yes.’
‘How much of the mirror has been recovered?’
Ryan looked from Clarke down to a report on the desk. He flipped it open and looked at the clean-up crew’s report. ‘What is estimated, based on previous recoveries, to be just over a third. It’s only been twelve hours though, and the recovery teams are still searching for shards.’
This earned him a disapproving look. ‘Yes, the shards.’ Clarke sighed and required a cigarette, the end came to life and he took in a lungful of smoke. ‘That’s another issue.’
‘Not one we can do anything about.’
‘It’s one you caused. That recruit shouldn’t have been in the field in the first place.’
He opened his mouth to protest, but Clarke shook his head. ‘Yes,’ he said tersely, ‘I did read Jones’ report. However, you know you were in the wrong. Recruits without sufficient field experience should never be on a mission of that caliber.’ He tapped the ash from the end of his cigarette. ‘Ryan, there are those who watch your recruit statistics with interest.’
‘Meaning?’
‘Meaning, Agent Ryan, that some of your peers think you aren’t always looking out for you recruits’ best interests.’
‘I had thought that it would be good field experience for Mimosa.’
‘Well, the only field experience she’s going to get now is the one her body is buried in. Have you made the arrangements?’
He gestured to a report. ‘I submitted my report on the matter.’
‘At least the leech has been dealt with. So one thing went right.’
‘Am I excused?’
‘Yes – but this matter isn’t being dropped, though.’
He stood, nodded at Clarke and walked from the conference room. The halls were quiet – they usually were after such an event – his remaining recruits were sleeping it off. Stopping outside Mimosa’s room, he required the door open and stepped inside.
She hadn’t been there long enough to make much of an impact – the fridge was slightly emptier, and there were a few personal possessions that had been brought there – such as her laptop. He lifted it and required the room back into a zero state – it was clean and new again, no sign that anyone had ever occupied it.
With a sigh, he shifted from the Agency.
Slightly stale air met his nose as he appeared in Stef’s apartment. He stepped into the kitchen and pushed the curtains open, letting some light into the dark rooms.
He opened the fridge and required away all of the perishable food – it was no longer needed, and would only rot.
There was a knock.
Suddenly, he felt like an intruder. It was a ridiculous thought – he had every right to be there, legally and morally – but he still felt out of place.
He walked to the door and pulled it open. The spirit on the other side of the door looked him up and down and sighed. ‘Damn. What’d she get herself into?’
‘And you are?’
‘The landlord.’
‘Funny,’ he replied dryly, ‘you don’t look like a hob.’
‘What’s your business with my tenant, angel?’
‘Your tenant, my recruit.’
‘Is she here? I loaned her a master key the other night and I’d like it back.’
‘No,’ he said with a note of finality, ‘she’s not.’ He paused for a moment. ‘I’ll be needing the lease signed over, organise it.’ He waited for the spirit to understand what he was saying.
‘Solstice, you, or the starchild that was supposedly running around?’
‘Solstice,’ he said without blinking.
The landlord sighed, looked up to the ceiling, then nodded. ‘Bastards. Yeah, sure, I’ll…organise the paperwork.’ With that, he turned and left.
He closed the door and walked into the apartment – he pulled open the curtains to the balcony and opened the sliding glass door to let some air in. He reached over the to the bookcase and pulled the doll from it.
The doll he’d tempted her with all those years ago. The thing responsible for her being able to live the truncated life she had. Its dress was old and faded, even if the porcelain felt like new – he hadn’t though to require new clothes for it when he’d fixed it the second time, only the parts that couldn’t be fixed by human means.
He held it at arms length and contemplated it for a long moment – it was so out of place with the rest of the way his recruit acted and carried herself, but she’d acted as though the doll somehow defined her. It had been a strange incongruity.
Pulling the doll closer to him, he walked into the bedroom and pulled open the black curtains there. He placed the doll on the bed and crossed to the wardrobe, pulling open the sliding door. The sunlight bounced off the wardrobe’s door, and reflected off the piece of mirror buried in his recruit’s chest.
i love wen you spam updates
…there won’t be another spam update for quite a while, so enjoy this one. 🙂
Dont leave us hanging!
…in the news post, not the end, and the next update will be soon, I just want to give people a chance to digest this. 🙂
it’s not too clear for me:
A. Angel brought an invisible recruit
B. Angel change the doll into recruit
C. Due to inevitable change from void, recruit’s change is merger with doll
What is clear is that Angel is doubting to make decision, and doubt is not duty, therefor the eventual decision will be not-duty.
It’ll be clearer in the next chapter, but no-one’s invisible, he just found it easier to hide Stef’s “corpse” in the wardrobe, so that no-one saw it.
*gurgles happily at the massive updates*
Loved this story, can’t wait to see what you do next! Keep up the great work!
Chiad
oh… and eeeeee! Hummer!
…everyone’s favourite hippy-surfer-god. He’s seriously my excuse to write Michelangelo (circa 80’s cartoon, of course).
And seriously, if you liked this, you’re gonna love what’s next.
*evil grin*
So we leave Stef stabbed by a wish. I look forward to seeing where you take that.
– Dani Zweig
dani@pobox.com
…there’s the obvious route, but that’s no fun, so obviously what is going to happen is that Ryan’s going to grab hold of the mirror and wish for a new stereo, and a spa bath. 😛
This makes complete and perfect sense. Only way to go, really.
And then, with her out of the way, he can clean out her apartment (it’ll take a while to get the hacker funk out), then he can use it for secret agent booty calls. 😛
And all is as it was, and shall move to what shall be.
At least Stef is where she would be happy, and have a good rest.
I wonder actually:
1. Since there is no time passing when stef is in limbo (where she should be right now), i’m not sure if she gets a 3rd chance, but if it was, she’d get better right away, or pass on.
2. I don’t think she can get back from passing on, and wishing someone back to life, isn’t really possible (according to the story).
I’m thinking, either the soul has not left yet (captured?) (or she is not really dead), or she is a ghost (but i don’t think it’s possible to get back from being a ghost?) or maybe she already wished herself a long nap? or maybe she’s just became immortal because of her first change due to the void, and just taking out the shard revives herself?
I’m sure i’m looking too far…
I’m going to be as honest as I can, while avoiding as many spoilers as possible.
She’s not in Limbo (at least the one run by the lil chibi monk), but for a given value, the term is applicable.
And “get better right away”, what, you’ve got something about smelly zombie girls? Our current resident zombie seems rather popular. (And this is Stef, the girl who goes a week…more than a week between showering most of the time, most people wouldn’t notice the difference in smell).
You’re right, mirror can’t bring people back from the dead – that rule is concrete, and isn’t being broken just because people seem to like this weird little hacker girl for whatever reason.
She’s not a girl – again, you’re correct, you can’t come back from being a ghost. She didn’t wish herself a long nap (though she could use it), she didn’t make any wish, actually.
she’s just became immortal because of her first change due to the void
Nope – dying twice doesn’t guarantee immortality.
just taking out the shard revives her
It’s a possibility, but would you take the chance? What if taking it out kills her? What if it dooms her to some awful fate? Could you take that chance?
I’m thinking, either the soul has not left yet (captured?)
Stay tuned. All in all, Vampire, whoever you are, I think you are far too clever for your own good. The men in suits will be by later to pick you up. 😛
I’m sure you know that Vampire is used for all unregistered posts and that not all of it is from myself.
I’ve bookmarked it quite a while ago (probably from an ad of meilin or erin, about 2 or 3 months ago), but i hadn’t quite read it, however, (i believe about 2 weeks ago or maybe 3), i did read mirrorfall until the then end-of-(rewritten part of)story. until early in the morning (4 or 5 am-ish) and i got complaint from wife and was not really enjoyable the next day at work…
Maybe i should register (if this is at all possible), i mean, i do check up here alot.
Now, i know i have been pushing you with the questions; but those are resulting from my reading of it. Maybe it’s because english isn’t my native tongue (hence the ‘aloft’ thing: even though i had a pretty good inkling of what it meant), or maybe it’s because imho it wasn’t too obvious (and that could have even been on purpose). In any case i won’t be pushing the boundary of spoilers, i’m just a person who likes to seek possible paths (and pasts) from certain events, and likes to bind possibilities from different events together into forming a most-likely-cause-effect-path of a story.
I could flatter myself in thinking you wibblies know what posts are from me, because of my writing (literally trying to write thoughts, longwinded thought they may be), but i can tell you for sure that if they’d come, I’d not be wanting field, i would have liked to be in hacking. (on the other hand, usually the best field operatives are probably the ones who prefer other departments; this, because they know what they are leaving behind and secretly (even though it’s a bother), they want it anyway (or actually they don’t want it being screwed up by someone else 🙂 ).
(bah, i’m always making the same mistakes :-/ )
Being who/what i am, i believe this makes me a fairly good consistency checker (“Knowing thyself, is the start of wisdom” or so one hopes)
…that you aren’t all the Vampires. 😛 But calling you “mysterious poster that I am replying to right now that is currently nameless” seemed a little over-dramatic. >_>
until early in the morning (4 or 5 am-ish)
It always makes me happy to find out that people like myself so much that they’ve ruined a night’s sleep to read my stuff. It’s…it’s really, really flattering. 😀
and i got complaint from wife and was not really enjoyable the next day at work…
Apologise to your wife from me, I promise not to update spam again, so you won’t have to stay up to, well, close to dawn again, in order to catch up.
Maybe i should register (if this is at all possible)
Yup, just hit the Log In button up the top, then the register tab, then you can have your own shiny username.
Now, i know i have been pushing you with the questions
I don’t mind. ^_^ I like questions.
(hence the ‘aloft’ thing: even though i had a pretty good inkling of what it meant), or maybe it’s because imho it wasn’t too obvious (and that could have even been on purpose).
It wasn’t obvious, it’s just a word I like to use, even when it’s probably not the best word to use. I, after all, promise geekery, hackers and cookies, not good writing.
In any case i won’t be pushing the boundary of spoilers
Oh, you can push. I like giving away spoilers, and this time around (especially with the linked image on the latest news post), it’s a lot more evident what’s going to happen.
And I’m frankly amazed that you’ve taken on all the established rules of magic, and fairly accurately predicted what’s happened with her soul. Consider my hat tipped to you.
I could flatter myself in thinking you wibblies know what posts are from me
I can make some fairly educated guesses and pick a few that are from you. 🙂
I’d not be wanting field, i would have liked to be in hacking
Ditto, but mostly because I want to hang out in the games room, and be in a workplace that has little alarms when certain webcomics update. >_>
Being who/what i am, i believe this makes me a fairly good consistency checker
Well, you’re one up on me. I aim for consistency, but don’t always get there. >_>
*hugs, cookies, and a tech-department-issued-laptop*
But calling you “mysterious poster that I am replying to right now that is currently nameless” seemed a little over-dramatic. >_>
Meh, i like the dramatic (sometimes)
I promise not to update spam again
Shit, i don’t want to be responsible for that one… I mean, don’t get me wrong, if i didn’t think it was worth it, i wouldn’t have bothered. (and definately with the posts)
Oh, you can push.
Heh, there’s a saying (that i’m sure you know): Be careful what you wish for,…
But seriously, if you don’t mind it, i can really go hard with criticism. I’ll try for it to be as constructive as possible, but if i fail, well, consider that if i didn’t think it was good, i wouldn’t have read it to begin with.
I like giving away spoilers
I’m sure that there’s prolly readers that don’t like spoilers, but in case, it is indeed not even a spoiler; i mean, either Spider is gone and it’s about the agent and maybe you try to return her through those awful farfetched flashback/forward/timejump shit (you could as well use the plot from the new transformers where the idiot should be dead 20times over), or she’s not really dead. and the new book goes on, with the angels’ doubts.
(about the aloft thing, please use it; you must use what you feel is right, otherwise your writing ‘ll be too “…” whachamacallit… )
Consider my hat tipped to you.
Oh oh, best not get too much praise, or it’ll go to my head…
I’m sure it’s just “job-deformation”. (I’m not sure this is a word, but it’s a word/expression we use in my native language.)
I’d not be wanting field, i would have liked to be in hacking
It’s more like too much of a bother (like the chess guy from Naruto, that kind of attitude is me, it isn’t perfect, but nothing is). (I didn’t mean this like some kind of bragging, (it might be mistaken that way), it’s more that i see the disadvantages of that kind of thinking.)
On the other hand, i’m sure anyone (even Stef) has parts of all three… (Remember the “being in the arms of Victor” (is it him? i’m not too good with names.) )
I myself am resembling some characteristics of Stef (but i have a kind of nasty combat side too (more torturous really)), so I guess it’s easy for me to try and think like her. But then stories are about identifying with the persons involved, and actually i think its harder if you have a similar way of thinking, because it’s easy to forget about the slight differences (butterfly effect and all that).
Oh mysterious nameless poster that I am replying to… 😛
No, you’re not responsible for my decision not to update spam again, I want to be more measured with the release of #2, not dribs-and-drabs, and then…what was it, fifteen chapters? All at once.
But seriously, if you don’t mind it, i can really go hard with criticism. I’ll try for it to be as constructive as possible, but if i fail, well, consider that if i didn’t think it was good, i wouldn’t have read it to begin with.
See? That’s fine. There was only one time I’ve ever been offended by criticism, and that was because this chick was really nice to my face, saying she liked my stuff (this was pre-MF, and we were collaborators) and that I had good ideas, but was completely bitching me out behind my back. Being two-faced bothers me, crits don’t. 🙂
you could as well use the plot from the new transformers where the idiot should be dead 20times over
There was plot in that movie?! O_O I just watched it for the explosions…
It’s more like too much of a bother (like the chess guy from Naruto)
I read that as “cheese guy” and got very confused. >_< On the other hand, i’m sure anyone (even Stef) has parts of all three…
Most people do, though a lot less people would have combat tendencies, either from a physical inability to fight, or a wish not to cleave heads from shoulders. Stef though, as tiny and weak as she is, hand her a knife and tell her that Narnia sucks, and you’ll see her go crazytown. >_>
more torturous really
Then roll up, Taylor would have a job for you. 😛
But then stories are about identifying with the persons involved
In all honesty, I never expected anyone to identify with Stef. Like her, maybe; watch her in horrified fascination, sure. But identify…I must have done something right. 🙂
are you two just going to keep quoting each other’s responses, line by line, indefinitly?
…replying to certain bits, and context is always better than no context…
I thought we stopped??
Well, maybe a forum is indeed a better place to put this stuff.
But what about the comments here, then? Should they be here or in the forum?
I feel it’s important to keep anonymous posters (also in forum).
I don’t suppose there is a way to have the comments forum-like?
what would help is in the home page, the latest posts thingie, to have an extra column saying “(X new comments)” or something.
…stop, a couple of days ago, but my point was still valid, as in context = yay. ^_^
Well, forums are good for the long, rambling, random, cookie-giving, head-biting conversations. Everyone would still be able to comment on the posts, of course, and they would stay here, it’d be different conversations in the forums.
…not sure how we could make the regular comments more forum-like.
In that case i’m all for the forum. but be advised, it may be empty after some time…
If you do get a forum, then we should have easy ways of telling which are updated, etc…
(also, this forum, is it threaded? or not? i believe i would prefer threaded, but i’ve seen a forum where it is treaded but it can be shown flat too… (not sure if D6 supports this))
—
AL13N is my name and head-biting is my game.
Well you will like book two. I can’t say anything for the same reasons of Stormy. I read it the last time it was up, before book one was reworked a little. And can say, all will be made clear. Or in the case of Spyder, clearer.
so, how many books were up before? just the 2? finished or not?
Both were finished (I’m not so cruel as have left people hanging in the middle of book #2, then wait through the whole rewrite of #1 to get to the end of #2 again).
And like I’ve said, getting #2 up this time will be a lot easier, because there’s totally not enough rewriting to do. 🙂
I understand you’ve been reading since before the re-write…
nice, man, i’m sure not much people would be so loyal…
I’m sure there’s got to be more than just one person. There’s at least two. I read most of the first book in its first version as it came out and all of the second book.
It’s definitely improved.
It’ll be interesting to see what happens to new readers when they hit Stef’s death. It’s a little different to read that when you know that there are more books to go than it was when it initially appeared.
Jim Z
There’s you, daymon, LordCainn I’m pretty sure was around when we were still on WordPress…and there’s a few more people who have popped in to say hi once and a while.
… most people don’t like rewrites that much, because the story doesn’t progress further, re-reading a story is something alot of people dislike, because they like to be carried away (i guess you should replace “most people” by myself), and they can’t if they know what follows next. I’m sure you lost some readers by that. My tip is thus very obvious: “Try avoiding this for Book 3 (or spinoffs (or better: future work in general))”.
Also, don’t be afraid to end it. It’s a big decision, because returning from an dead story makes it usually a bad story. I personally like (pr|s)equels, but more like “dune” or Asimov’s empire books. Like, the london thing is good (even though not written by you).
Altough crossing over is nice, it’s only nice with extreme moderation; more than a reference to a famous (preferably non-main) character is ok, more can be hurtful; a single chapter that has meetings between a non-main character and a non-main character of the other story is also ok (if it’s in the same timeframe), and only if it is normal for them to do so, and the meeting itself should not have a direct impact on both the stories, allthough the result from such a meeting does have an impact. Consider as example: a video-conference of all directors.
… shit, i got carried away again…
…it wasn’t really the re-write that lost me readers, it was the first time I posted this, with Stef’s death that did it, no-one wanted to stick around and find what happened next, and had apparently liked the resident hacker girl or something…
I’ll be posting #2, which is currently being edited (not as much of an overhaul as this was), but then #3 onwards will just be posted, they won’t be taken down and rewritten. It was just honestly because I felt that #1 (particularly the first half) really was not up to scratch, and I wasn’t happy with it at all.
Also, don’t be afraid to end it. It’s a big decision, because returning from an dead story makes it usually a bad story.
The story’s far from dead, trust me on that.
Altough crossing over is nice, it’s only nice with extreme moderation
Given the nature of the chapter, I’m going to gamble and assume that you’re talking about Emma.
Ok, here’s the thing. Emma’s a main character in #2, like is integral to the plot and severely affects the outcome of everything. Because of the nature of events, she’s seen to be quite bitchy, and, well, horrible. I sort of conned Randi into writing a side-series so that we could meet Emma before the events of #2 so we get to see that she’s not an entirely terrible person.
I can back up that the rewrite was really needed. Stormy’s writing ability improved dramatically during the writing of the second story. The original version of Mirrorfall was most dialogue with only the barest of prose to explain events. It was also full of asides that had nothing to do with the main plot and didn’t even really interact with it significantly. The new version is pretty much Mirrorfall how it should be (though it still needs to have some typos and grammatical errors corrected).
As for the coming back from the dead thing, that’s something that’s always been part of the plan, and is actually key to the real saga to come. Stef’s repeated brushes with death (the hostage shootout as a toddler, the car accident when she was twelve, Ryan nearly killing her when she’s hiding in the closet) are intentional hints to the plot taking this turn.
And yeah, I can vouch for London being a spinoff to flesh out Emma, even though it technically predates Emma’s first reference in Mirrorfall (even the previous version of it). I was there, I heard the conversation.
Well, that explains alot.
I do however stick by my original point, which was that this is extremely good. There is much, much worse shit printed and sold…
This universe you created (which looks very original imho (which is rare)), has potential to become book-transient, it’ll be really interesting where you take it too in the future.
I definitely thing Spyder is being held in stasis right now. Also, when do we get to see the girl who ordered the orange cherry peppermint coffee? I like her story. ^___^ (Yeah, I read the original. You’ve done so much with this version though! It’s amazing. Makes 1.0 look like a rough draft)
*hugs the mikokit*
Unfortunatley, Andrea doesn’t show up till about 3/4 of the way through, but I’m aiming at trying to give her more “screen time” in future books (and maybe some short stories as well). 🙂