“You’ve turned down the wrong alley.”
Vincent stopped. The voice clearly wasn’t human.
Seriously? Now would be a good time to GTFO.
“No, I turned down the right alley. I just didn’t expect it to be occupied already.”
“Well, it turns out that I’m hungry.”
“I’m sorry, I’m fresh out of waldorfs.”
Vincent snorted. The disembodied voice was coming from a dark corner. Vincent could see a shape now. A BIG shape.
“Fucking human. I’ll devour you slowly.”
“That’s what she said.”
That has got to be the absolute best and worst time for that joke, and if you survive this, I am going to find a way kill you for it.
The creature let out a roar. Vincent yawned.
“Come on, Agent Taylor roars better than that when he stubs his toe on a desk. Then, if the desk hasn’t shattered from the toe stub, it promptly cowers out of existence.”
The shadow moved closer to Vincent. Vincent shifted his weight, and randomly thought of Magnolia punching him in the back of the knee.
“I’ve never seen a human like you. Mostly they scream and try to flee. You’re not only standing your ground, but outwardly trying to mock me.”
“I work with what I’ve got, and what I’ve got is a lack of good judgement and a terrible sense of humor.”
“That you do. Perhaps we could work out a deal.”
“What the hell could I possibly have that you’d be interested in?”
“Flesh, of course.”
“Yes, but I’ve got a limited amount of it, and I refuse to bargain with anyone’s flesh but my own.”
“Then we are at an impasse. Well, as much of an impasse as a boot has with an ant.”
“Do I look Asgardian to you?”
A little bit, yeah.
“What is an Asg- Fuck it, you’re dinner.”
Vincent tensed up, closing his eyes for a moment. He noticed himself letting out a fart. Something behind him made a noise, he turned and shot at it. The shadow from before seemed to fade, or flicker, or something. Vincent wasn’t paying attention to it anymore.
“Nice illusion, shitface. It almost had me going.”
Something was behind him again, this time, it managed to tear a good amount of his right shoulder away.
“Meh, I don’t use that shoulder for anything, anyway.”
Vincent took his knife out of his jacket pocket and swung behind him.
“Nice try, human.”
A chunk of flesh on his left side went missing. The knife missed again.
“What the fuck…?”
Vincent paused, looking around. He saw another illusion, and fired a shot behind him.
He heard the bullet hit something, and turned to face it.
Vincent fired a few more shots. They all missed.
“Where’d you go, you fucking creep?”
Vincent required a headset. Nothing happened. He waited seven seconds and tried again.
“One shift to medical, pleeeeeaaaaassseee…”
Vincent looked down. There was more blood there than he was expecting. Then it was gone and so was his ability to stand up.
Parker-1 was standing over him.
“How long was I out?”
“Ten minutes, roughly. Long enough for us to fix you up, short enough to not have missed any appointments you may have.”
“I don’t have any that I know of.”
“You do now. Check back with us tomorrow. I’ll admit, I was expecting more people in here tonight.”
“Yeah, I can understand that, but it’s nice to not have a full medical bay. That many people injured or sick or whatever tends to lower morale.”
“Not with the party upstairs going on, it won’t.”
“Meh. Not my kind of party. Am I good to go then?”
“Yep. Unless, of course, you’d like t-”
“Not today, but I hear there’s a combat recruit who might want her duodenum poked.”
“I see. Hmmm…”
Vincent got up and walked to the tech floor. One of the smaller techs whizzed past him with a bag of candy. Vincent shrugged and headed toward the office, hoping that Jones was in there.
“Evening, Vincent. How’d your patrol go?”
“Ended with me in the Parker’s care. How goes the party?”
“Same as every year, mostly.”
“That’s good. Hey, cou-”
There was a knock on the office door. Jonesy stood up and opened it.
“TRICK OR TREAT!”
Vincent required a cookie, and placed it into Stef’s treat bag.
“I thought for sure you’d go with ‘trick,’ Vincent.”
“Don’t feel like it today. I got roughed up by a fae a bit ago.”
Stef made a face. Vincent sighed.
“I think I’m just going to call it an early night. Halloween has always left me melancholy.”
Vincent stood up and heard Stef making confused noises at Jones as he walked to his room.
His room looked surprisingly more comfortable than usual.
“Another birthday survived…”
“You’ve turned down the wrong alley.”