‘So explain it to me again.’
Stef stared at Ryan, wondering what it was that he didn’t understand, then she said as much. ‘What is it that you don’t understand?’
‘Why you’re sitting on my desk for one.’
She grinned. ‘It makes you pay attention to me.’

He reached around her for his keyboard, but she simply leaned to the left a little, blocking his view of his monitor. ‘Stef.’
‘They need you.’
‘It’s none of my concern.’
‘Look, the fate of-’
‘I have more important things to do.’
She frowned. ‘The guild needs a prot pally, and you’re the only candidate.’
‘I’ve declined. Four times now. It simply isn’t for me.’
‘But you’re practically one IRL. Ok, you aren’t exactly in tier gear, but I bet you could swing a sword if you needed to, and you already have lots of practice dealing with annoying undead.’ She grinned at him, waiting for him to fault her infallible logic.
‘The sheer amount of time you put into it frightens me,’ he said. ‘You played for fifteen hours straight yesterday.’
‘Seventeen, actually, what’s your point?’
‘It seems to be a second job more than a form of entertainment. I don’t have the time to put into it.’ He gave her his best serious look. ‘You shouldn’t either, you could have spent your time-’
‘Aw man, don’t go all dad!fase on me…’
‘Curt said he offered to do training with you. He also said you threatened him.’
‘We were-’ Her shoulders dropped. ‘Fighting a dragon. A big mean dragon. He interrupted and almost made me die, and we’d already lost half our DPS, he could have wiped us.’
‘So you threatened to throw him out a window.’
She gave her best innocent look. ‘It’s not like it would have hurt…’
‘Stef you can’t-’
‘If you played with me, you’d be able to monitor my play time better, and I might listen to you when you tell me to stop playing.’
‘No you wouldn’t.’
‘No I wouldn’t, but it sounds nice. Come on, please, you get to be a pretty elf boy. Or a pretty elf girl. Depends what kind of butt you want to stare at.’
This seemed to confuse him even further. ‘I don’t want to stare at anyone’s posterior.’
‘It’s just where your eyes naturally gravitate to, it doesn’t mean anything.’
‘For the last time, no.’
‘There’s nothing I can do to convince you?’
‘Not in this case. Now, you have work to do.’
‘No I don’t.’
He stared at her. ‘I practically have to require a rowboat to get across your office, you can’t let your paperwork pile up like that.’
‘But I don’t wanna…it’s too hot to work today.’
‘Stef, it’s the same temperature that it always is.’
‘I don’t understand the forms.’
‘I’ve showed-’ He stopped himself and sighed. ‘Go grab one armful of paperwork, and we’ll work through that. Then you can play for an hour, then more paperwork, then you apologise to Curt and do a few training routines with him.’
‘…that sounds like work.’
He stood, lifted her from his desk, set her down and spun her toward the door. ‘A big armful, no cheating.’
She took two despondent steps toward his office door, then felt something rumbling. ‘I think the techs are-’
The room exploded.
Reminder: This is non-canon, just a bit of fun.